I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
