first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
