I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
