Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
