I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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