don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Randomize
