Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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