the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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