I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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