And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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