I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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