erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
