That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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