You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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