do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Randomize
