Yo dont text me then not text me
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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