dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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