hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
