Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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