Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
