I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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