woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
