just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
