get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
