Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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