i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
