it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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