There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
