Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
