He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
