i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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