I want to have your abortion
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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