I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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