I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
