I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
