THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
