He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
