I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
