At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
