If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
