he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
