Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
