Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
