I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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