I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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