Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
