I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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