You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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