Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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