I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Randomize
