I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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